23:59

Today was bad.

It's me and my Mom plus my weight that caused a fight at home. First she got mad because I spent the whole day at my room, while she's gone. Okay Mom, I don't understand you in this part. You were gone okay? You were going to the hospital to check on your friend and you got mad because I spent the whole day doing nothing at my room? Now that's weird.
That's okay, actually. I heard her yelling like, eveyday and get used to it.
Tapi tiba-tiba kok ya nyerempet ke weight problem? My weight problem!
Good gosh, I was eating, hello! And you told me that I ate too many food!

Don't Moms supposed to tell their teenage daughter to believe in their self?

To be confident no matter how ugly or fat or short you are?

What happened with self confidence?

Don't you ever heard of it?

I'm mad because she never accept my 175 cm and 70 kg body. She always said that I am too fat while others think I am fine. I'm not fat, they say, but only have big bones. Well mother, you can't change big bones, don't you?
Suddenly, I want to tell her that I was okay, I mean with my 70 kg weight (I even say my weight twice!) I never feel fat. Well, sometimes I think I am fat, but then I just let it go.
I worked out at the gym to get healthier, if I'm lucky I'll thinier.
If it comes to love, a guy should love me no matter how fat I am, besides I never had a relationship not because I'm fat, that's just because I don't want it yet. I still want to have fun, enjoying my teenage life, especially in high school and I have enough problems I don't want to add another relationship problems some of my friends had with their boyfriends.

They say home is where your heart is.

But my heart is where people can accept who I really am. They don't care about my weight, my face, my money, they only care about me because I am me, they love the good side of me and they correct me when I'm wrong. They tell me which is good or bad, they teach me how to stand on my own feet.

I feel empty, knowing things she said to me earlier today. What should I do? She's my Mom, and she supposed to be the one who said, "Kamu cantik, segendut apapun kamu, kamu tetep anak Mama yang paling cantik." Dan tidak pernah membuat gue tidak pede dengan badan gue.

If I lost my self confidence, I know who to blame!

TTYL, crunchies